Our Band Dabbles
by Blonde-and-Brunettet-twist
Summary: Funny, random, and intresting stories and lists curtesy of two very, very crazy freshmen flutes. Please R&R. Have fun! First Chapter You maybe a Bandnerd list.
1. Chapter 1

My Band Dabbles 

**A/N:** Well, this is our first band dabble that we've ever written. Both of us are extremely huge band nerds when it comes to marching and even concert band. We hope you enjoy what we consider the beginning of our many band dabbles. Please R&R. (Most grammar and spelling mistakes are on purpose, so PLEASE don't tell us…thank you.)

**You May be a Marching Band Nerd**_…_

…When you actually threaten to bite peoples fingers off if they touch your instrument.

…When you think about how you will destroy that one person in color guard who keeps dropping their flag.

…If you frighten your family when you tell them about how you just _have_ to get a uniform like your favorite marching band's uniform.

…When you attempt and more frighteningly succeed to explain sex through instruments.

…When you actually enjoy wearing your band uniform. (Like us—there are two authors in these stories/lists)

…When you excessively clean your band shoes. (Its our favorite thing to do when we are not being lazy asses like usual)

…When you roll step as you walk through the halls in school and are proud when your normey friends (friends outside of band) make fun of you for it.

…If you can march in step perfectly…BUT…you still can't chew gum and walk at the same time.

…When you start to look forward to getting sunburn during the inevitable BAND CAMP!!!!!

…If you begin to enjoy the heat and physical stress you endure during **THE BAND CAMP!!!!**

…When you constantly make fun of yourself for being a band nerdy person.

…If most of your friends are in marching band. (The best people in the world)

…When you become so socially awkward that you tend to rely on all of your band friends to have fun. (This esp. sucks when they don't want to hang out)

…When you entertain your friends during the football game by attempting to climb up the bleachers from the back at the very high part. (P.s. not a good idea…we have tried it….very fun).

… When you argue with the field commander/drum major about wanting a different colored plume/feather. (we enjoy being different. Isn't that the whole reason we join band?)

…When you consistently argue if band is a democracy or a dictatorship and then you realize it was a waste of time because we all know that it's a dictatorship.

…If you pass time by singing and dancing to the songs from your half time show and/or stands music.

…If you actually practice your music.

…Then actually practice it for several days in a row.

…Then not remember the notes when your band director asks you to play the music on the spot. (It's happened to me sssssoooo many different times)

…If you look forward to the days you have band practice even if it means actually doing work.

…When you have random conversations about how much you hate your band director, drum major(s)/field commander(s), and/or section leader. (that is always fun)

…When you admit willingly that you have no life and the little bit of life that you do have completely revolves around marching band.

…If the majority of your thoughts revolve around marching band. (most of our's do)

…If you have stolen a huge cardboard cut out of a famous actress and stashed it in the band room.

…If you have dreamed about having sex/make out session in the band room's uniform/storage room/closet. (that would be sooooo much fun and very interesting)

…When you scream to anyone that will listen "I came out of the closet!" – after of course just jumping out of the uniform or instrument closet

…When you have lengthy conversations about what name you should give your instrument. (my flute's name is Mr. Bubbles)

...If while your taking off your uniform you suddenly shout "I'm stripping!" and then everyone in the band looks and is disappointed when they see your only taking off your uniform and nothing else.

…When you love your instrument more than your family.

…When you consider your band your second family because you see them more than your biological family.

…If the majority of your wardrobe consists of marching band shirts or simply stuff relating to music.

…When you take the time to read retarded lists like this one.

…If you've used a woodwind (preferable a flute, clarinet, or even a trumpet) and a symbol to play swords and shields with your friends.

…When you take the time out to point out how the other bands are frightened of your band.

…If you've screamed "I want your hat" at a fellow band member because they're lucky enough not to have the most plain, uncreative hat that has ever existed.

…When you come home and want to sleep for the rest of your miserable life after having to spend three hours on a bus with not only the older band members, but also the younger was to

…If you give your instruments name such as Mr. Bubbles or something that's actually normal.

…Or it is something normal, but it doesn't make sense why it has that specific name.

…When you would rather be the one on the band bus preventing others from sleeping than being the one screaming at people for not letting you sleep

…If you start singing odd and different songs that tick off your band director because they consider it to be a "bad song".

…Or you try to sing a song that on one likes except for you because you're that super nerdy (that's us in a nut shell).

…When you mark time when you're waiting in line.

…If you have dropped your instrument numerous times and have actually BEATEN yourself up for it (while of course your friends watch---pointing)

…When you would rather be at band practice than at home.

…If you make fun of the football players

…If you tease the football players about what actually happens in the locker room and showers after a big win. (and then are threatened to be killed---and you laugh )

…If you argue with the football players because they don't think band is that important (which is its…evil people).

…And if they don't listen to you, you start making "drop the soap" jokes/comments (we do that when they are jerk offs)

…If you threaten to kill the football player (that you know) because they've been using the band practice field for football practice (it happens here all the time).

…When you volunteer to do push-ups because you think its fun to get down on the ground, have people laugh at you, and feel the lovely PAIN.

…If all of your friends are in Marching Band with you.

…If you cry or simply laugh when the seniors make their speeches.

…And if you don't their parents glare at you for not showing that you will miss them next year.

….Then you do because their parents scare the carp out of you.

…When you actually try and figure out who will replace the seniors in each section next (I actually did that and scare enough most of my friend thought it was pretty creative).

…When you do "stuff" in the band closet with another band member and tease your friends about it because they think you did something naughty and you won't tell when the reality is that you and your fellow band member really only went into the closet and laughed at the things you knew your friends would think you were doing.

…When you have accidentally called you band director mom or dad.

…And then continued to call them that because it annoyed them.

…When you blame the lines on the field for moving and confusing you when you were setting a new drill.

…When you claim that the lines on the field are holding a grudge on you and continue to trip you when you march.

…If you refer to everybody in the band by their instruments and not by name. (that would be too confusing )

…YAY!!!!!!!! BAND CAMP STARTS TOMORROW!!!!!! Your summer won't be wasted after all.

…When you argue with a fellow band person on whether the appropriate name is Band Geek, Band Dork, or Band Nerd.

…If you have randomly screamed "I HAVE TO PEE", "PENIS", or something odd during a competition or game.

…If one of your favorite movies is American Pie: _Band Camp_.

…If you actually look forward to freezing your ass off every Friday night at the football games. (I know I do! (N); I really don't (K))

…When you continuously talk about stuff in band to your non-band friends just to annoy the hell out of them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Marching Bandisms:**

Its

Being retarded

Loud

Crazy

Obnoxious

And dorky.

It's not being able to feel your fingers.

It's getting screamed at.

It's laughing at people for no apparent reason.

It's for no water breaks.

It's dehydration.

It's for the comfy uniforms.

It's tripping over the lines on the football field.

It's getting sprayed down by a fire truck.

It's making fun of the band director.

It's for the band director hitting you over the head with a folder of music for making fun of her/him.

It's dropping someone else's instrument and blaming it on the first person you see.

It's forgetting to bring sun screen to band camp.

It's being to lazy to bring sun screen.

It's getting sunburn.

It's having your friends poke at your sunburn all day and laughing when you flinch in pain.

It's passing out.

It's pretending to pass out during band practice so you can get out of it early.

It's cleaning up the entire band room yourself because you tried to skip out of band practice.

It's laughing at yourself.

It's your first competition.

It's celebrating because you got a score of 70.

It's realizing that you got in last place.

It's sitting on the side lines claiming that you are sick and in pain just so you don't have to look like an idiot because you don't know the show yet (even after a month of band camp.)

Its dinkles and marching band shoes.

It's random drum sticks flying at your head.

It's twisting you ankle.

It's hipper drum majors.

Its obnoxious section leaders.

It's refusing to cheer with the cheerleaders and instead screaming randomly.

Its sore feet.

It's Chap Stick.

It's naming your hair. (if you have questions review)

It's relationships.

Its giggling like a retard.

It's laughing so hard that coke comes out of your nose.

It's looking up marching band stuff on you tube.

It's putting up stuff on you tube of your band and random people in it.

Its making fun of the football players.

It's running through the gym with "Football Players Suck!" t-shirts on and screaming at the top of your lungs while they are taking their daily nap.

It's running into poles.

It's going into the boys restroom to pie during a game because you think you are going to piss in your uniform and the girl's restroom's line is too long.

It's getting sprayed with Axe.

It's getting locked in the band room closet.

It's forgetting your uniform.

It's the buses leaving you during the band trip and leaving you clueless and helpless.

It's realizing your friend is not on the bus and not telling anybody until a hour later and then laughing at your friend after he is finally picked up.

It's being proud of being a band dork.

It's crying during senior night when your section leader recalls all of the fun times you had together.

It's seeing your band director cry.

It's your band director giving the same lecture over and over again.

…..more than once

……every day

It's the band bus.

It's everybody sharing food.

It's everybody sharing water.

…..and germs

…..esp. when they just sneezed all over the water

…..and you still continue to drink the water

It's making fun of the cheer leaders.

It's complaining to the school board that the cheerleaders are breaking the dress code when they wear their way too short cheerleading uniforms.

It's wanting to wear your band uniform during spirit day.

It's secretly thinking that the band director doesn't know about your hatred to him/her, but then realizing they know.

It's socks….that began as white and soon transformed into a brown piece of clothing with green mold inside.

Its having a secret crush with a person in the band…..so of course everyone in the band knows.

It's looking up info on a college's marching band.

It's choosing your future college based on their marching band.

It's complaining that other bands have more instruments than yours.

It's doodling marching band related stuff on everything you own.

It's eating.

It's sleeping.

It's dreaming of eating at band camp.

It's dreaming of marching band.

It's falling in the middle of a parade and creating a domino effect.

It's dropping your drumsticks in the middle of a parade intentionally so you don't have to play and so people will fall (you can point and laugh.)

It's tripping and falling after marching into a huge pot hole in the middle of the road.

It's when you stop playing in the middle of a concert to say "bless you" to a person in the audience…..in result screwing up the entire song.

It's sitting on the top of a band seat, while the bus is moving to take off your pants to only reveal some pretty panties/boxers.

It's a boy in marching band 'accidentally' walking onto the guard's bus and seeing them in their not so pretty thongs and such.

It's throwing up….on the bus.


	3. Chapter 3

**Our Band Dabbles**

**A/N:** This is even more of our amazing band dabble that we've been writing off and on. We thought since _so many_ people have been reviewing our little dabbles XD. Well this is more "Bandisms" so we really hope that you enjoy! Please R/R!

Bandisms It's…

…Sun burn

…Pain

…Wet shoes

…Hope

…Pouring water down your friend's shirt

…Having to march bear foot because you wore sandals 

…Starting the wave at a competition even though you're not supposed to

…Getting blisters on your feet, hands, legs, thighs, and …

…Dehydration 

…Being poked in the butt with a drum stick

…Dropping a ladder on your feet because you have to carry it down to the field

…Being last in your section and not caring 

…Stealing your friends water bottle because they drank yours the day before

…Having thermal pants

…and socks

…Dreaming of setting the directors whistle on fire

…or just giving it to rapid squirrels

…Getting hit with a flag because you didn't pay attention to where you were going

…Running backwards

…Having wet pants

…Forgetting to pull your straps up after putting your top on

…and end up having to take every thing off to fix your self

…Accidentally putting another person's pants

…shoes

…top

…and hat on 

…Really, really bad B.O

…Shiny clothes 

…Wanting to steal the other bands hats because they have a big feather

…Being about to count 4/4 but not being able to add 4 4

…Clapping your hands

…and stomping your feet

…Almost peeing your self because you finally got your ledersmen jacket 

…Odd rivalry 

…Funny rivalry

…and completely useless rivalry

…Having tight paints

…Rain

…Learning new and different forms of music each and every year

…Playing with a tennis ball that was purposely hit outside onto the playing field 

…Making a squrcile 

…The woodwinds not being about to make a straight line

…instead they make a zig-zag 

…or somehow a triangle

…Being a Remurd

…or a Etulf

…or a Ssarb reyalp

…or a Dnidwdoow

…And understanding what all those say backwards

…Band trips

…Half the band knowing how to play "The Chicken Dance"

…Basically the whole band dancing to "The Chicken Dance" after a game

…Fighting with the director about any and everything

…Wearing your marching shoes to school every Friday for the games

…Being in every band activity you can think of

…Getting caught in the snow

…Sleet

…Heat

…and wind

…Messing with the Color Guard and the Rookies

…Asking some one in Brass if they're a "Boner"

…The Brass not being able to stay in step

…Having moldy gloves

…Slipping on a hat box while walking down the belchers

…Keeping all your music from marching and concert band

…Evil flip folders

…Catching a cold

…Clueless rookie

…Watching the drum line carry the drum set down the hill only to lose half the parts

…Sprained ankles 

…Plotting to destroy the drum instructor

…Being a senior 

…and not caring that you're basically last chair in your section

…Scatter drills

…Yelling at the jocks and telling them band is really a sport

…Thinking the mold on your music look cooler

…Writing band dabbles so that others can enjoy your random thoughts and feelings

…Being hypnotized by the other band's Color Guard flags 

…Falling and getting stuck under your drum in the middle of the field 

…All for one and one for all

…Throwing up because none of the bus drivers can well, drive that good

…Meeting new people

…Hating the stand music that you have to play over, over, and over…

…Getting rushed the hospital during a game

…then getting in trouble for not turning in your medical card

…Being in pit

…Just being who you really are and enjoying your self

…Playing more then four instruments 

…Having a fond dislike for the chromatic scale 

…and the circle of 5ths 

…Having at least one conversation about band every day

…Wearing war paint

…Being proud of all the band shirts that you have in you closet 

…except for the white shirt that everyone can see throw; dry or wet

…Ending up behind the goal post

…and having to dive out of the way to avoid being hit by the football 

…Having in mud in places that scare you

…Taking time to eat with your friends after a long, hard, and boring game

…Understanding

…Friendship

…Laughing at your friend when they can't march during a parade two years in a row because they didn't have their shoes

…Just doing "IT" (that's a dance our woodwind section has; it's so fun)

…Dropping half your flute down the holes of the bleachers

…Having your trombone slide filled with dirt by some un-none rude immature child

…Having school pride

…then losing it really fast

…Wondering why the cheerleaders stand in front of the band bleachers when we don't pay ANY attention 


End file.
